Raelenna Ferguson - Page 3 of 4 -

Greener grass. The battle of Contentment

October 26, 2016 by Raelenna Ferguson Leave a Comment

The grass is not alwasy greener — The grass is not always greener.

One dictionary defines contentment as: A state of happiness and satisfaction.

Then there is the saying I hate to hear myself but gladly dish out to other people “the grass is not always greener on the other side”

Please someone tell me now I can’t be the only one that battles contentment.

The picture of my dog and cat are the perfect example. I snapped that picture this morning of them, it was an ah-ha moment for me. My dog and cat do this everyday all day. They sit at the window and look out. I just imagine them in their animal brain pondering what it would be like to be on the other side of that window, totally loose on the outside, no longer coveting all the squirrels and birds that are running free right in front of them.

The grass is not always greener….I let my dog out and she chases one squirrel and realizes her 70 pound body is no match to out run a 2 pound squirrel and then she is right back at the door wanting back in to spend the rest of her day laying on my bed. The cat thinks he wants out until I let him out and then he is so spooked by every sound and every movement that he hunkers down and tries to hide behind bushes, again he wants back into the safety of the house almost immediately. He seems to forget he has no claws, he is defenseless.

Tomorrow the whole circus will begin again, the same routine, wishing they were on the other side until they get there and then realizing they want back in the house to the safety and comfort of what they had.

Contentment it’s a difficult thing. I battle it. I so often sit at my own window looking out wishing for a different view.

Some days I wish for more. More clients, more friends, to travel more, more money, more time in my day so I can add more stuff.

Some days I wish for less. Less work, less friends, less kid sports activities, less travel, a smaller house, less people that need me.

Sometimes I see other moms and I wish for their lives because their life looks so much happier and easier than mine. Even for just a day can I live her life. Comparison kills

I often think about and even tend to obsess about moving to another state or even another country.

Some days I am so content and happy I couldn’t imagine a single thing different in my life. I am walking around in a happy glowing bubble that no one could pop even if they tried. My kids are perfect, my job is perfect, my husband is perfect and I feel total content happiness bliss.

I believe so many of these feelings are totally normal and doesn’t make me a terrible mom or the worst person on the planet, it just makes me real. It also makes me realize my life has to be about so much more than myself, if it wasn’t I would be walking around a discontent, unhappy and jealous or bitter person.

The other thing I believe about myself is that if I stay in a discontent phase for very long its sinful and I know it can become very destructive to me. If I live in that mindset too long it will become extremely hard for me to be happy and grateful in my own daily life because in my mind and heart I am wishing and dreaming of a different view out that window.

So here is my real life currently. Right now I am struggling with being content. The path God has me on right this very moment is a little weird for me and if I am going to be honest here it isn’t really where I want to be. It’s not wrong or bad, God’s plans are never wrong, it’s just not by my choice and it’s little more quiet than I normally like my life. Yet I am positive it’s exactly where He wants me. So on my good days I am content with this season and on my bad days I am sitting at the window looking out wanting the greener grass.

I’ve learned a lot about myself lately especially how I process things and also when to recognize triggers in myself. I want to grow closer to Jesus everyday. I want to trust and fully rely on him every single day not just when things feel right. When a wave of discontent comes and doesn’t look like it’s going to leave anytime soon I know 3 things I need to do to get myself back on the right track:

I get quiet. I try to silence the outside noise and the chatter. I know it sounds so cliche’. But it’s true for me. I will intentionally stay home more, clear my schedule as much as I can and I will lay low. Getting quiet in my own house allows Jesus to speak to me and most importantly allows me to hear Him. I actually love and have grown so accustomed to this new routine that I crave it. I crave being alone and quiet in my house.

→ “The Lord will fight for you, you need only to be still” Exodus 14:14

2. I read God’s word. Another cliché right? Trust me here–getting in God’s word is huge and not always easy. Even if I don’t know what to read or where to start I will google words like: contentment, love, peace, grace then I will read what the Bible says about it. To really know God is to know His words, His teaching and the life of Jesus. I am trying hard be more focused and disciplined about digging into God’s word.

→ “I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or want. I can do all things thru him who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:12-13

3. I only believe the truth, not the lies. This is another thing I’ve learned and studied hard this past year. Focusing on truth. The world will lie to us, it will tell us to want more, to be more, to do more. This year my new filter for all things in life is “is this the truth” or “is this God’s truth for me” I actually will ask myself this question out loud. The other way I try to discern truth is I will take breaks from social media, because I can’t hear the truth clearly while I am hooked on Facebook and Instagram. The comparison on social media kills me, it fills me with lies when what I need is truth, so I revert back to #1 and get quiet and #2 to read God’s word.

→ “Then you will know, the truth and the truth will set you free” John 8:32

This morning when I had that visual of my cat and dog sitting at the window wishing to be on the other side it really was an ah-ha moment for me about how I felt. I only share this in hopes that it might also help to encourage someone else who may battle contentment. Although hear me out–I am not at all opposed to believing God calling us to more, to change, to different places and different locations in life. There are times in my life when God has me working hard, long days where my world is big and loud and exhausting. Then there are seasons where things are slow and my world becomes small and quiet. None of these are wrong if we are in the will of God. Just read Ecclesiastes 3, there are seasons for all of life. For me personally it’s when I become so consumed with being discontent that it’s paralyzing me and it is sinful.

I’m not sure where you’re at, maybe you are living in the happy glowing bubble land, if you are–own it! Give glory to God and be strong and confident and embrace it. If you are more like me right now, sitting at a window looking at the greener grass on the other side–well let’s dig in. Let’s get quiet, hear God, read His word, turn off the noise, stop comparing and start trusting. Trust Him with it all. I know this is a learning season for me and I know what I am learning and growing in now is going to be used for His good in the future if I let it. Because He tells us in Romans 8:28 “And we know in all things God works for the good of those that love him, who have been called according to his purpose”

I am striving to be content with ALL the days of my life, not just the ones that I enjoy. One day I hope to never battle with discontentment, I hope to be able to embrace every day, every moment and be thankful for them all. Maybe eventually I will get to that dictionary definition “a state of happiness and satisfaction”.

Until then I will write in hopes it helps and encourages just one and I will try to be still and let the Lord fight for me. If you are battling contentment or have your own plan of how you find contentment in your daily life I’d love to hear from you. If you are staring out your own window wishing for that greener grass I want you to know you are not alone. Tell me your story, your battle plan or your victory dance! Hearing from other women gives me encouragement and makes me feel normal. Email me here: realliferealjesus@gmail.com

Let’s be real together,

This is 40….today is my 40th birthday

August 26, 2016 by Raelenna Ferguson Leave a Comment

This is 40.

In my teens I thought 40 years olds were great-great grandmas, you know like the silvery purple haired grandma’s who voices crack when they talk because they are as old as the hills. Then in my 20 year old head I thought someone who was 40 was more like just great grandma not great-great, which was only just a tad younger than the silvery haired ones, but not much improved. For most of my 30’s I never really thought about 40 because I was too busy having babies, taking care of babies, trying to figure out how to be wife and also trying to start a career. Good-bye 30’s, you were exhausting.

And now I am 40. I’ve called the entire year of 2016 my “year of 40” I even made my own hashtag #yearof40. It’s been a really great year and a really hard year. It’s been a year where I’ve seen more growth in myself than any other time in my life. It’s been a year where I’ve let go and held on. Where I’ve cried the most but also laughed the most.

Here are my top 3 for the #yearof40

Best thing I did of 2016. Start seeing a counselor. Yep, it was hard. I was prideful, I was scared, I was totally freaked out because this was waay out of my comfort zone. I have always been the “I am never going to go talk to a stranger about my life” person. I am not exaggerating when I say my counselor (alongside God) changed the trajectory of my life this year. I was battling some harsh demons, some resentment, some bitterness, and deep hurts. Things that I kept trying to fix on my own and it was obvious it wasn’t working. Jeremy was maxed out, he was trying and we were trying together but I just couldn’t kick. It was a dark time and I was on a dark path then I broke and then I asked for help. Why? Why is it that we have to first break before we ask for help? Or maybe it’s only me that has to get to that point, but I seriously doubt it. Of course I had some rules about seeing a counselor (in true Raelenna fashion there are always rules, I like to keep stipulations). It had to be a Christian counselor, had to be female, I could not know her and it would not be someone local. Because of my job I know alot of people and I was majorly weirded out even go to a counselor so I wanted someone I knew that wouldn’t know me or know anyone I knew. It was absolutely terrifying and absolutely awesome. I know with all my heart that God spoke thru her to heal me and set me in a different direction, a direction He wanted me in. You want to know how I know? Because she said things to me and asked me questions that I had never said to anyone, things that were only in my head or on my heart. That is how you know. I went by myself and then Jeremy and I went together. I let her in, I let the walls down and it was the best thing of 2016 and one of the top things I’ve done for myself in my life. I’m hear to tell you, if you think you need to see a counselor then you probably do, don’t be scared. If you don’t think you need to see a counselor then you probably do as well. I have went full circle and became a complete advocate and want others to know counseling is not taboo. It does not mean you are weak, it can actually mean you’re strong enough to realize you want to be better than what you are. Strong enough to know that us by ourselves, is usually not enough. That there are people God equipped to be passionate and trained to counsel others. For me it was about not living in darkness, to let light in. And to let light in we must expose and share and be vulnerable. Satan is darkness. Jesus is light and light is hope.

Africa. A month in Africa with my entire family. We had planned that trip almost a year in advance but only God knew the timing of that trip would be exactly when we needed it. I was coming off a hard few months of personal stuff and a hard few months of work. Jeremy was in the busiest season of his career then add in the kids stuff and all the end of school year craziness we were burnt out. No other way to put it, we were D.U.N (as my brother would say). Done. It felt like I couldn’t take another second of the pace of the life we were doing.
The only pic I got of all 7 of us in Africa.

Literally not another second, I couldn’t get on that plane fast enough. Yes Africa was about orphaned babies, farm life, friends, experiencing a new culture and our family serving together. But it was more than that. It was a reset button. Time away to slow down to reflect and to see our “real” life from the outside. And boy did we see it. I recently read about the magic of being away from home. Shauna Neiquist writes “away allows us to see the rhythms and dimensions of our lives more clearly” Amen. Amen. Jeremy and I spent alot of time talking, processing and praying about life when we got back to America. The changes we were going to make and ways to stick to them. Slowing our roll. God. Family. Then everything else. Saying no and yes to the right things.

Submitting to my husband. Haha! I know, but keep reading ladies. If you know me personally you know I am independent, strong-minded and strong-willed. My liberal women can rule the world brain really doesn’t want to call it “submitting to my husband” I prefer “letting Jeremy lead”. Which is still a bit of an ego blow. But I am so over it and I am truly enjoying the freedom it brings to let Jeremy lead. I’ve always prided myself on my decision making abilities. Those shoes, yes done. This haircut, yes done. That employee, yes done. That house, yes done. That car, yes done. That. This. That. This. Back in my single mom days, my mad decision making skills were exactly what I needed. But now married to a Godly and a very capable man, it’s a no no. I have been so wrong and very mistaken in thinking I was the one that was best at making decisions for our family. I am not saying I am still not part of the decisions, I am just not the bearer of them. I have a high geared job and I am the mommy of 5, I already have a ton happening I don’t want or need this giant responsibility of decisions on my plate anymore. And it’s not God’s way. Can I give you one word that describes the freedom I’ve experienced in handing things over to Jeremy: released. I truly feel released from a big big burden I was unnecessarily carrying. I was exhausted with too many decision to make. All. The. Time. Decisions and more decisions. Some decisions I never even told him, not because I was trying to hide them, but just because I thought I can do it. From as big as should we hire another employee to as small as what team should our son play on for baseball.
Birthday. Beach. And the leader of my family.

Now in this new life, we talk about it, think on it, on good days pray about it together and then I say whatever you feel is best, you decide. Don’t get me wrong it’s still a work in progress, but for the most part, I am D.U.N with this also, I am handing over the lead. And it feels good, and right and exactly how God intends in. Not in a submissive Jeremy rules over me way. It’s more of a leader, I trust you with my life and my kids life way. I trust that you are a man who will go to God with it in prayer and that you want best for me probably more than I want best for me. That you know me as well as I know me and you can see me in a different way. I say to him more than ever “what do you think”. Ladies do you ask your man “what do you think” on something you are pondering? Do it. Our men want to be part of it. They are wired and geared and made to lead. I am seeing this now. Let them lead, take the burden off yourself, it’s actually liberating. Don’t believe lies that say strong women must be in charge, strong women must know when enough is enough. Try babies steps if you have to, a decision here and there. I think you’ll be surprised that you like it. And a total bonus, when you see your man in that take charge and lead role where you’ve given them your full heart, it makes him hotter.

So there they are my big take-aways from my year so far. Let me add in–wow this is so out of my comfort zone writing this and sharing this post. When I say way, I mean way-way. If you could hear my brain while I am typing this it’s saying “I can’t believe you are putting this out there for anyone to read especially the counseling stuff”. What my heart is saying is different, it’s telling me to share, to be open and honest, there is nothing to hide, maybe it will encourage or help just one person.

kicking leg — Proving to my 12 year old I can still do a toe touch.

So back to turning 40. For the last few years as I’ve talked with my older friends and mentors (not old old ya know like the silvery purple old, just older) they’ve been telling me 40 is awesome, 40 is so fun, you’re gonna love 40, 40 is the new 20, 40 is freedom. Today here I am on my birthday and again in true Raelenna fashion I also set goals for myself for the second half of my life. I really feel like this is the direction I am headed and clearly in the direction God wants me. To live with purpose, passion and intention. Those 3 words have me eager and ready for whats next. Purpose. Passion. Intention. Maybe more on this later…

For now on my 40th birthday I am celebrating at the beach a place where my soul and spirit always gets refreshed.

This is 40. I’m not hung up on it I am welcoming it.

P.S. In reference to #2. I know that some of you ladies out there reading this may not have a husband that is a Godly man that you can trust handing over leadership of yourself or your family. Or you may be in a really bad marriage working through really hard times and now is not the time. Trust me when I say I understand. My heart aches for those of you experiencing this but I want you to know your not alone. God is still seeing you and desiring you, don’t give up.

3 years ago today….and losing control.

August 16, 2016 by Raelenna Ferguson Leave a Comment

3 years ago today a 13 month old and a 2 1/2-year-old showed up in my kitchen for a weekend “trial visit”.

I will never forget it, she was in a car seat taking a bottle and the little boy was talking non-stop. It was mid-afternoon and I was home alone waiting for them. This photo is the first photo I ever took of them.

They came together from the same foster family, although they are not related, but were being raised as brother and sister. It was hard to think of them being separated but Jeremy and I knew when they asked us to consider the placement of the two children that we could not keep the little boy long-term. We knew this because we had a previous foster placement of a little boy very close to the same age as our boys and it was too many little boy dynamics going on. We thought we might be able to keep the little girl long-term, but it was all so quick and so new we truly had no time to process.

You see the day before was MY celebratory day! I had just gotten my littlest off to kindergarten. All 3 of my babies were finally in school and all together and at the SAME school! This was my new chapter I had been waiting on, no more daycare expense, no more multiple drop-offs, no more little ones because they had all finally moved on to “real” school. This was the perfect plan I had been waiting on and oooh it sounded so good!!

Then there was God’s plan. It was my freedom day. And I mean literally the day I dropped Seth off for kindergarten was the day I got the call. The call to consider taking a foster placement of a 13 month old little girl and a 2 1/2 year old boy. I was pulling up to meet my best friend for my the kids are back in school celebration lunch. When the number showed up on my phone I knew who was calling. It was Children’s Division. I freaked in the car alone for a minute. Here is basically the conversation I had with myself “Don’t answer it. Yes answer it. No. Yes. It’s a freaking kid. They need me. What if it’s a baby. NO don’t do it. Seth just started kindergarten. No you have freedom” I promise these are all the things I said to myself in about a 10 second time span. Then I hit answer.

24 hours later they arrived in my kitchen for a trial weekend visit. That was 3 years ago today. And honestly I’ve been a little emotional all day just re-thinking it all. There is no way I can put 3 years of all that God has done since then in this blog. But I will share a bit about me here more than I will share about the kids.

The little boy is now Jozy Seabaugh. He stayed much longer than a trial visit. Jeremy and I ended up agreeing to keep him until Childrens Division could find him a permanent home. God’s plan for him became clear very quickly. Some of our best friends were currently in foster classes when Jozy came to us. After meeting him they felt lead that he was to be their son and we agreed to keep him in our home until their licensing was complete. He stayed with us for about 3 months then moved to our friends and since then has been adopted by them. Still to this day he calls Jeremy, Uncle Jeremy.

The little girl is now Lera Ferguson. I sorta knew the moment I saw her sitting in that car seat that she was going to be ours. I actually text that first picture I took of her to Jeremy and said “this one is not going anywhere”.

Today, 3 years later, Jozy is still very much in our lives and just started Kindergarten. He and Lera have a bond that is absolutely incredible, they have a connection that words cannot explain. Lera is now 4 years old and started Pre-K yesterday.

I will be the first to tell you and to admit that the last 3 years have been a journey that I can only call hard. Totally our calling, but hard. And that is really what this blog is more about; the hard and the change that the hard has brought to my life.

Here is a little facebook post I wrote almost a year ago when things were hard and I was barely hanging on:

November is National Adoption Awareness month. I have already been asked this month to “share” our adoption story and to help encourage others to adopt. To be fully honest, it is hard for me to consider encouraging others on some days. My journey on this has been hard, like way hard on some days. There are days when I do not want to encourage people, I want to encourage them to actually run far away from foster care and adoption. Like screaming to them “it’s gonna mess your real life up”. Sucks to read right? But we can’t do that. I can’t do that. If we all did that then what?? If we just wait for everyone else to do it, then what?
Now I am sure my family just looks awesome and so fulfilled, with our good-looking tribe of biological kids and our totally adorable adopted African-American child. And we are on many days. But I will be the first to tell you IT IS HARD, it was hard, it currently is hard and it probably always will be somewhat hard. But–here we are right?!

You can almost hear my bitterness and resentment in the tone from that post. Now with time what I have learned is the hard is not really Lera or Foster Care, it never was and never has been about her. It’s been me. My world got flipped upside down in one phone call. And now 3 years later I will be the first to tell you I haven’t handled it well for a long time. You see, I like things my way and I like to be in control. Adding 2 children to your house in less than 24 hours, you sort of lose control. Add in the fact that you also have children’s division in your life now, you lose control. You still have bio parents in the picture that you are required to take the children to visit, you lose control. You have a child that has some pretty massive issues that stem from attachment disorder and foster care, you lose control. Your world that you worked very hard to create exactly the way you wanted it is no longer there, you lose control.

Now I am sure you’re thinking she is precious, she is innocent, she is your daughter. Yes, you are right and all these are true and we love her. She is ours, she is a child of God, she is chosen and the funny thing is she is more like me than some of my biological kids. But this really isn’t about Lera, it’s about me. What God wanted from me, what He needed to teach me and what He is still teaching me.

Over the last 3 years I’ve held on so tight trying to control it all, I’ve almost broken myself on many days. I’ve almost broken the people closest to me. I’ve also went full blow opposite with the “I don’t even care what happens” attitude, which is just as destructive as the control.

I have dug in deeper to myself and God than I ever imagine I could. Just in the last few months I am finally letting myself get where He wants me, surrendered. The control thing, yeah I still have flare ups, but for the most part what I’ve learned is that I don’t want control anymore. It’s unnecessary and actually unfaithful to God. It’s too much pressure on myself and trying to control everything makes me crazy! The best thing I’ve learned is this: It’s more work to try to keep control than it is to just let God be God.

What I am most thankful on this 3 year anniversary is the little girl that rocked my world. She is the one we dreamed of and prayed for. She is the one out of all my kids that has taught me the most and changed me the most. She and God are working me over good! One day I hope to sit and tell her all the good and the hard stuff of our journey but at the end of the conversation I will be able to look at her and say to her “I am who I am today because you are in my life”

It all started with fostering and adoption and there is a big side to that story as well. Although today it’s about losing control, not living in fear, answering that phone call, letting God be God, it’s about surrender.

As I am typing this I was thinking of how to end it and how to wrap it up. You know this writing thing is all new to me and I am still super weirded out about it. As I was thinking I thought of a quote from one of my favorite books Restless by Jennie Allen. (I also am a total quote junkie)

“Great people do not do great things; God does great things through surrendered people.” –Jennie Allen

I think this is so good. So simple. So true. We can try to control everything in our worlds, but it won’t matter. Surrender the control. Trust me it’s exhausting. And truthfully at the end of the day we may think we are in control, but we never really are. His will be done.

Happy 3 year day for us.

Lera and Jozy 3 years later.

I am never going on a mission trip…said the women packing her 5 kids for Africa.

June 24, 2016 by Raelenna Ferguson Leave a Comment

“I am never going on a mission trip” those words straight out of my mouth a little over a decade ago. Just call me a Pinocchio, because now here I am packing my 5 kids and husband and we’re leaving to spend a month living in Africa.

“I am never going on a mission trip”. I remember saying that so clearly and confidently to Jeremy. He was a youth pastor <<pause- yes I was a pastor’s wife, almost 13 years later I still have a hard time believing it myself. God has a sense of humor, doesn’t he?>> One of his youth group kids was preparing to move away to become a missionary and I was like no way, not for me. More words straight from my mouth “ I will never do that, it’s not safe, you will never get me on a plane that long, negative ghost rider, I will only leaving the US for vacation” Of course I even threw in the most famous saying of them all “I will support them, but I will never go” yep, I said that too.

I love that our God knows us better than we know ourselves. I wonder does he just sit back and give big giant laughs when we say stupid flippant things. Like when I very confidently and proudly said “I am never going on a mission trip” Only He knew that one day serving in Africa would become one of the greatest joys of my life.

On another day, when I have more time and I feel more confident in my writing I will try to tell some stories of what all has transpired from that very first trip to Swaziland Africa in 2009. My life changed, many other lives have been changed and lives are still being changed, from that first 10 day trip

But today I want to share with you a dream.

I fell in love with Swaziland that first summer I went in 2009. My very first mission trip, my first time leaving the US (other than my honeymoon to Jamaica) and the first time away from my babies. My heart was changed. The trajectory of my life was changed. I saw a purpose for my life on a whole new level. The way I saw the world was changed.

When I got home from that trip, all I could think about was going back. I immediately planned our next trip for the following summer, but what I really wanted was all of my family together with me in Swaziland. Jeremy and I served together on that first trip and it was amazing, it connected us on such a deeper level. But all I could dream about was bringing my 4 kids (at the time it was only 4) back with me and all of us serving together.

That first year I went to Africa my babies were only 1 yr, 2 yr, 4 yr and 11 yrs old, that’s a lot of little people to try to trek halfway across the world. There was no way we could take them at this point. The travel to get to Swaziland is long and not easy. A third world country is no joke. Where would we stay? What we would we drive? And after all how would we even do any type of work chasing a 1, 2 and 4 year old around? The kids were a full-time job by themselves at these ages.

The dream never left. I might have tucked it away a time or two, but it never fully left. For 3 years straight Jeremy and I kept going back to Swaziland to serve, the same vision and dream would come up, to bring our entire family back with us. Each year when we would start thinking and planning for the summer trip we would talk about it, we would pray about it and the answer kept coming back as “not this year, not yet”.

Then we started fostering and had a long term foster placement that was turning into adoption. We wouldn’t have been able to leave the country with her, and we wouldn’t want to leave for a long period of time without her. For those 2 years during our foster adoption, we were grounded here in the US. It really wasn’t even an option to leave. More answers of “not this year, not yet”. Eventually we took our oldest daughter with us when she was 15 and our next daughter when she was 9. Our oldest daughter even moved to Swaziland for 6 months after she graduated high school. Yet, the dream was still not complete. We were ALL to go together and serve together.

Not only were our kids one obstacle, but work was also a problem. We are both real estate agents, our job never really stops and we were working hard on building up our businesses. Leaving for the summer and leaving our growing businesses was just not an option, yet.

This fall….6 ½ years after that first trip. We found ourselves starting to discuss another trip with Heart for Africa, the non-for-profit we have served with since 2009. Heart for Africa was planning a big summer service trip to celebrate their 10 year Anniversary as organization. This got us excited to go help with the teams and also visit all our Swazi friends and church community. Here we go again…we started talking about going on a longer trip, maybe for the summer and maybe taking all the kids?? We kept throwing the idea around, we prayed about it, and this time we didn’t get the “not yet” feeling. We didn’t get the “not this year” voice. Instead we started feeling a peace about it, things seemed to be falling into place, we had backup at work, the kids will be easier….Finally I felt that the dream might be ready for reality.

I bet you can guess it! Here we are, FINALLY the year has come! The answer from God was finally “NOW, now is the time” The kids are older, the adoption is final, our businesses are stable and we have a great team to help us while we are gone. We are doing it! We have rented a house, we have rented a minivan, and we leave in just a few days. EEK!

Our kids will go with us each day working alongside us at Heart for Africa’s farm called Project Canaan. We will serve at the children’s home, the school, the artisan center, visit community churches, we will be used wherever we are needed. We don’t have a set schedule (after all it is Africa, time and scheduling is very different than here in the US, which I love btw). My kiddos are over the moon. The 2 words: Swaziland and Africa are common language in our house. These are words they’ve grown up with and have heard their entire lives. Now we get to show them what those 2 words mean.

I get to introduce them to a beautiful little country that holds a spot deep in my soul.

It’s pretty funny when I tell people I am taking my entire family of 7 to Africa for a month. It’s usually one of two looks: You’re crazy or the super excited look. I know it’s not your average family summer trip, but then again we’re not your average family. Many people do think we are crazy (not just with this but other things we’ve done too), but I’ve always said if people think I am crazy I am probably doing something right. I don’t want to be like everybody else. A lot of people thought Jesus was crazy too (and they still do). I like to shake it up and live and experience life fully. And who ever said following Jesus is boring? I’ve been on the wildest and most exciting adventures of my life while following Jesus…this may be one of the best yet.

I’m not taking this experience for granted, trust me I know how special this opportunity is. It’s not going to be easy, it’s a long trip. We are venturing half way across the world with 11 bags, 4 carry-ons, 4 little kids, a 16 hour plane ride and a 5 hour drive. Leaving our jobs, the kids will be totally out of routine, leaving our dog, being 9,000 miles away from home, but we know this is exactly where God wants us. And that excites me!

Together our family will fulfill a dream, not just my dream, but God’s dream for us too. A dream that God laid on my heart years ago. I believe He dreams for us…have you ever thought of that? That God actually dreams for us?

Do you have a dream right now? One that may seem to crazy to say out loud or maybe one that feels too small to even mention? It’s not going to be the same dream as mine, but that doesn’t it make it any less important. Maybe it has nothing to do with missions or traveling, maybe it’s a work dream, or a family dream or maybe it’s just an urge to change something in your life. My advice to you is don’t push your dream or urge away. Don’t minimize it or compare it and don’t just write it off. Maybe like my dream, it just needs to be tucked away for a little bit, but not forgotten. Just keep asking and trusting, going back to God, maybe like I did saying “Now? Is it time yet?” And listen. Listening is just as important as asking. If we ask, we must listen for a response. He will answer.

Never underestimate that God knows us better than we can ever know ourselves. He knows our deepest desires even when we don’t. He dreams for us and He dreams with us. Trust in that.

“Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart” Psalm 37:4

I hope to give updates during our trip on my Facebook page, be sure to go over and “like” my new page to stay in the loop. You can find me here: https://www.facebook.com/letsberealtogether/ My internet will be limited (which I am also super pumped about) but I do hope to update and share. We do plan to take the kids do the Indian Ocean while we are there too!

If you have a dream or an urge right now and you’re too scared to share it or say it out loud, I’d love to encourage you in it. If you want to share your God size dream or your little tiny baby dream with me, just email me at realliferealjesus@gmail.com. Nothing is too small or too large if God is in it.

Dreams do come true.

Here we go!!!

To find out more about Heart for Africa and the amazing work they are doing in Swaziland watch the video below or you can click here visit their website . www.heartforafrica.org

« Previous Page